Friday, October 12, 2012

Meet Coach

Yep. Coach gets issued Dolfin Shorts, too. He also gets issued a whole lot of issues.

Ever since he was disqualified from military service for his flat feet, his brain's been boiling with perceived slights. He vents the resultant brainsteam by overreacting, overcompensating, and an overobsession with the minutiae of regulations and the fixation on personal and mental hygiene. He's been known to iron the collar on his polo shirts, and is fortunately not known for his secret habit of cinching his jockstrap uncomfortably tight to prevent “impure thoughts.”

Props for Coach include an ear-piercing whistle, a riding crop for loudly smacking the furniture, and confiscated contraband that he accuses the guest of hoarding.

Those casting the Coach character should give priority to the burly, the age range of late-30s to mid-50s, and the ability to shout for extended periods of time.

Monday: The Shower Room and Toilets

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